Baby's Triumphant Return to SF

Baby returned to San Francisco bearing gifts. Included in the package: a Louis Vuitton leash and Juicy pineapple charm for Pique, a Dyson vacuum, Juicy Couture fragrance, and a Philips Sonicare toothbrush for Herman. Gracious.

Joseph Xeriscape

Baby accepted his heroic duty to xeriscape his parents' yard in SLC, Utah. After 40 years in the same East Bench home, it was time for a yard that was easier to maintain, and perhaps more harmonic with the environment. Witness Baby at the beginning of his journey, as he began cutting down non-native, dying trees. After ripping up the lawn and several dead plants later, witness Baby in the dirt with neice Alison. Stay tuned for the new, xeriscaped yard.

Billy the Puppet (Saw) as Game Show Host

Baby thought it would be funny to do the voice of the jigsaw killer in the "Saw" movies. Instead of providing options about how Herman could save his life, like in the film, Baby offered thrilling game show opportunities.

"Herman. This is your game. Choose a number between 1 and 150, and a door will open with free detergent and a key. Turn the key in the lock correctly, and an audience member will also win detergent. Choose wisely."

Herman was bemused.

Pique's Trail of Tears

In two short weeks, Pique became friends with a Snoopy and penguin doll, both of which he later eviscerated.

When reached for comment, Pique was too tired to speak.

His victims are captured here in memorial.

First Fight with Neighbors

Baby started his first fight today with neighbors at the condo in Ashbury Heights. After he picked several handfuls of lemons, a neighbor complained to Baby that he was robbing the community of a pleasant view of fruitful yellow trees.

Replied Baby, "They're not your trees. It's public property."

The neighbor then called the security guard for the homeowner's association, who asked Baby to desist with the lemon-picking.

The lesson: when life hands you lemons, Baby makes...a few bowls of lemons.

Baby Embroiders

Baby embroidered a dog onto a pink-and-white striped Williams & Sonoma towel. Pique got jealous.

Strange Bedfellows

After a raucous Friday night, Baby woke up with a stranger in his bed. The furry companion was even using Herman's "Peanuts" pillow. Baby was startled by the surprise, making the guest feel embarassed for intruding. But after a brief chat, in which the two recounted their hijinks and escapades from the night before, they reconnected and decided to make strawberry shakes in the Cuisinart.