Herman

My life with Baby

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Detox Baby


After a bender of a weekend that stretched to Monday, Baby has decided to check himself into rehab. Not just any rehab--this place requires only check-ins in the morning and night and optional weekend attendance, in case you need a break from sobriety. In addition to sharing and caring, the center offers detox teas and enemas. Coming soon: a clean teen with more energy to yell at cashiers, pet little puppies and make fun of my mishaped head. He also plans to pursue his modeling career with newfound vigor (see one of the first shots of his portfolio, left).

Monday, August 29, 2005

Baby responds to jump in crude oil prices


After oil trading topped $70 a barrel this morning, Baby decided that we're going to beat the energy market before it beats us. No more air conditioning, no more TV, all appliances and electronics will be unplugged when not in use--even the fridge two days a week, and I can't wait to see how that bodes for my milk supply. (I'd like to note here that Baby doesn't consume dairy). Check this space to learn if we beat out ConEdison next month!

Friday, August 26, 2005

Revelation from Drag Queens

Baby has been hearing voices from dead drag queens. "Be blonder. Be bolder. Be more fabulous than we could have ever been," they urge him. Lucky for us, he's decided to respond to his calling.

In other news, Baby has been busy furnishing our Chelsea studio with equine decor. I came home from Utah the other day to a new horse lamp on my side of the bed. He also bought "Hedwig and the Angry Inch," which has inspired him to "bring back the glory days of rock stars." Watch this space for more...

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Big In Japan

Joseph posed for photos with a group of Japanese tourists at a Chelsea Starbucks the other day. Based on his height, good looks and Gucci bag, they assumed he was famous. He certainly didn't correct them. In fact, he insisted on getting each photo in the most perfect light, and then stayed to chat with them for a time well beyond expected by all parties involved.