Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Detox Baby

After a bender of a weekend that stretched to Monday, Baby has decided to check himself into rehab. Not just any rehab--this place requires only check-ins in the morning and night and optional weekend attendance, in case you need a break from sobriety. In addition to sharing and caring, the center offers detox teas and enemas. Coming soon: a clean teen with more energy to yell at cashiers, pet little puppies and make fun of my mishaped head. He also plans to pursue his modeling career with newfound vigor (see one of the first shots of his portfolio, left).


Clare said...

what a hottie! love the pic and the return to the blog!

Monika&Maciek said...

Wow, you look good!

Melissa said...

Basically here is the detox plan:
You do a 7 day Prequel to get you ready for you one day a fasting
You fast for one day--drinking the special juice
Then you follow it up with a 3 day post diet.
Then you can keep doing it over and over again or modify it to fit your needs.

7 day Prequel:
1. Each day choose at least one Liver-loving food from each of the following groups:
a. 1/2 cup cooked or 1 cup raw Cabbage, cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, broccoli, broccoli sprouts
b. 1/2 c. cooked or 1 cup raw parsley, kale, watercress, chard, cilantro, beet greens, collards, escarole, dandelion greens, mustard greens
c. Citrus (1 orange or the juice of 1/2 lemon or lime) I squeeze 1/2 lemon in hot water in the mornings.
d. garlic (one clove minced), onions (1/2 cup cooked), eggs (2), daikon radish
e. artichoke (1 sm.), asparagus 1/2 cup cooked, beets, celery, dandelion root tea, whey powder, nutritional yeast flakes (1-2 tsp.)

2. Each day choose at least two of the following colon-caring foods:
a. Powdered psyllium husks (1-2 tsp. in 8 oz. water), ground flax seed meal (2-3 tbs. mixed in 8oz. water), carrot (1 sm), apple (1small), pear (1small), berries (1cup)

3. Each day, drink half your body weight in oz of water. Also mix in 8oz of PURE 100% CRANBERRY JUICE IN 24OZ. OF WATER EVERY DAY-If this is too strong you can mix 4oz in 24oz of water and then just repeat after you finish the first one. (This 24 oz. of water is part of you total you need to drink not extra.) VERY IMPORTANT: ONLY GET 100% CRANBERRY JUICE--NOT ONES THAT HAVE SPLENDA IN THEM OR ARE MIXED WITH ANY OTHER JUICES LIKE GRAPE. YOU NEED THE PURE CRANBERRY TO HELP YOUR LIVER. Let me know if you need to know which brands to buy.

4. Each day make sure you have at least two servings of protein---NO WHEAT GLUTEN---so this means only tofu, tempeh, or fish

5. Each day have 1-2 tbs. of oil from olive oil, flaxseed oil

6. Avoid detox detractors:
No Excess fat --nuts, mayo, salad dressings, butter, etc.
No sugar or sugar substitutes--THIS INCLUDES SPLENDA--you can have stivia
No refined carbohydrates--THIS INCLUDES WHITE RICE AND PRODUCTS MADE FROM WHITE FLOUR. This also includes wheat gluten. No alcohol, over the counter drugs, and caffeine.

Example meal plan:

Breakfast (I take my nalgene and put 8oz. or cranberry juice and fill the rest up with water. I use it first for my breakfast stuff because it's so bitter.)
8 oz. of the cranberry water and mix in 1 tbs. of flaxseed meal
8oz. of hot water with lemon
Protein shake--2 cups of cranberry water, 1 scoop of portion powder, 1 packet of stevia, 1 tbs. of flaxseed oil, and ice.

Mid-morning snack
Celery, carrots, and jicama

Tofu w/salad

Mid-afternoon snack
Apple or orange

Dinner (I make a list of everything I need to eat each day and check it off and usually what I haven't eaten is what I eat for dinner.)

Greens w/garlic
Tofu or tempeh

Before bedtime
8oz. water with 1tbs. of flaxseed meal mixed in.
This is a great plan and you feel so good. She also recommends at least 30min of cardio/day.

Ok here is the one day detox and the post-detox. Because the Miracle juice takes a little while to prepare-I would make it the night before.

To conduct your one-day fast, follow this simple, four-step program:
Don't take any vitamins and only take medication that you have to take.

I. Prepare the following "Miracle Juice":

2 quarts of Cranberry water (8oz. of cranberry juice mixed in with 56
oz. water)
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
3/4 cup freshly squeezed orange juice
1/4 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice
Stevia (this is optional-if you want it a little sweeter.)

1. Bring Cranberry water to a light boil; reduce the heat to low.

2. Place cinnamon, ginger, and nutmeg into a tea ball, and add to
Cranberry water. (For a tangier juice, add the spices directly to the

3. Simmer 15 to 20 minutes; cool to room temperature.
4. Stir in the orange and lemon juices. Add stevia if desired.
II. Alternate drinking one cup (8oz.) of water and one cup (8oz.) of
‘Miracle juice’ during the day. In addition to the ‘miracle juice,’ drink at least 72 oz. of water throughout the day. Make sure you drink at least a cup of liquid- either miracle juice or water-every

6am 1 cup water
7am 1 cup miracle juice
8am 1 cup water
9am 1 cup miracle juice
10am 1 cup water
11am 1 cup miracle juice
12pm 1 cup water
1pm 1 1/2 cup miracle juice.......ETC.

III. Upon rising and at the end of the day take 1 serving of a
‘colon-caring’ supplement:

-Ground flax meal (2-3TBS. mixed in 10 to 12 oz. of water or 8 oz. of
Miracle juice.)

IV. Engage only in light exercise-either a 20 min. walk or 10min. on
the rebounder (tramp.)

For the Post Detox you will do this for 3 days. It's exactly the same
as the first week, but you will include one of the following:

-sauerkraut (1/2 cup) organic is the best
-Yogurt (1 cup): Nonfat, low-fat, and whole-milk yogurt are all fine,
but look for plain yogurt whose label reads "active and live active cultures."

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