Herman

My life with Baby

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Giggle Butts

Baby's new business, which now only exists as a Microsoft PowerPoint presentation, is called Giggle Butts. Named to invoke feelings of boundless laughter and (somehow) haute couture, GB will be a retail outlet with "stuff that's not junk." As Cher will be the spokesperson, Baby only refers to the company's segment of the market as "market Cher."

Pictured at left: Baby and a potential investor from San Francisco.

Monday, January 23, 2006

Baby Ranks Stuff

In his first "best" and "worst of" list, Baby offers a snapshot of his ephemeral preferences. He invites your suggestions in the comment box below.
Hot:
  • Benny's Burritos (Greenwich Village, NYC)
  • Frosted Mini-Wheats cereal
  • The Chi (hair straightener)
  • free samples at Sephora
  • Cher

Not:
  • Verizon (home phone and broadband Internet service)
  • Meat Packing District (NYC)
  • Canada (They think they're so great because they can own guns and still not shoot others)
  • Dick Cheney

Monday, January 09, 2006

Baby Joins Buzz Marketing Group

In another money-making caper, Baby has joined a buzz marketing group that pays him money to talk to friends about products. "The power of word-of-mouth is a formidable force that can be harnassed to build and destroy brands in just seconds," he said. "I've already made $20 in Visa giftcards and received a plethora of pre-paid phone cards. Any time I want to make a call on the street, I can stop at a payphone and pull out these handy cards, which are much easier than a cell phone."

When pressed on the nature of the buzz marketing work, Baby was quick to defend its integrity. "This is not a pyramid scheme," he avowed with the proper degree of concern and solemnity.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

In a rare gesture of unprovoked benevolence, Baby decided to wish his readers a Happy New Year and prosperity for 2006. "It's the least I could do for you, my gentle readers," he effused. "Since I can't be with you all now, I send you the ligth and warming glow of my prescence." Baby also noted that '06 would go down as the year that he launched his career as an international pop star of stage and screen. Watch this space for details.