Herman

My life with Baby

Friday, July 14, 2006

Baby Declines to Help

On the first day of Baby's triumphant return to Italian Class, Baby laid early claim to his newest mortal enemy. The woman, a fellow student with hippie leanings (dubbed "Earth Mama"), did not have her own text book. As Baby's desk neighbor, she looked over his shoulder to follow the lecture.

During a break she asked if she might peruse its pages. As a gentleman, Baby obliged and presented her with the book. After a quick glance, she denounced the text as pedestrian and designed for the culturally ignorant. Incensed, Baby snatched back the book, placed it in his Gucci handbag with a frown.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that you were ignorant," said Earth Mama, "just the people who read this book."

"I read this book," said Baby, coolly.

"But I'm sure that you're not ignorant," she stammered.

"Forget it," said Baby. And with finality, "It's done."

Friday, July 07, 2006

Sleep-in Baby

Baby had considerable trouble getting out of bed this morning. After hitting the snooze button four times, he raised his weary head and gazed at the clock: 8:20 a.m. With only 40 minutes to get dressed and out the door for work, he gently burrowed his mop of big curly hair under a pillow--destined for a late Friday morning.