Herman

My life with Baby

Monday, January 28, 2008

Quilting for Burgers

Baby finished a beautiful hand-sewn quilt for his loving Mother, who in turn agreed to supply him with a steady bankroll of cheeseburgers.*

Striking a heartfelt, emotional chord, he weaved a patchwork of triangular, inter-locking pieces taken from his mother's junior prom dress. Bordering the gown pieces, he lined blocks of nostalgic dish towels that his mother used as a child (growing up in central Utah).

These squares feature images of produce on the left flank. The right flank is comprised by a vertically-stacked column of playful, hand-stitched kittens engaging in various activities (e.g., fishing, washing pants, relaxing in an armchair). Each of these towels is preserved in their original state with the day of the towel's intended use printed in graceful cursive lettering. (The kitten on the chair towel, fitfully, was designed as a Sunday towel).

Baby will continue to sew quilts in support of the energy future of America and may take up White House (P)resident George W. Bush's call for "armies of compassion" as elicited in the 2008 State of the Union address. "An Army of quilters would be fierce and disciplined," he said solemnly. "You don't mess with a man and his needle."

*Creative license was taken - no burgers actually exchanged hands.

Baby Flips Out

He doesn't have plans to bring back the Baby-fro, but our hero will refrain from haircuts for an non-specified amount of time.
"Watch for curls, and maybe even a perm," he advised, before furrowing his brow and becoming pensive. "Well, probably not a perm. But curls will happen."

Friday, January 25, 2008

How to Calm a Baby

Contrary to this helpful illustration, our Baby responds well to both methods of calming.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Baby's Pee-Wee Herman Shoes

Baby models his new white shoes. Thoughts?

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Baby Casts Vote on "Supermodel"

The first episode of Bravo's Make me a Supermodel is over and Baby's verdicts are in:

Dominic's surfer chic won't carry him far in the modeling world. Of all people he should be more relaxed but he's so stiff and boring. When he complained about the weight of his necklace during the first shoot, Baby had no sympathy. "Suck it up, this is modeling," he said, referring to his own experience in the profession (see Sally Hirschberger post below).

"Sarah should scoot off the show on her own long torso," he said.


Beyond the models, Baby wonders if any viewers are finding Tyson Beckford's teasing, tough-guy approach to be boring, expected and distracting from the beauty of the show. For inspiration, Baby has included a shot of how a model should look, right.


In close, Baby is left wondering what really happened to Perry's foot. A drunken fall?